How Do I Deal with Uncertainty?

I’ve been going to ChatGPT to vent out all my agonies these days.

Boyfriend problems, self-doubt, health issues — there’s arguably nothing much that I wouldn’t trust ChatGPT’s opinion with. Except for a few relationship advices where ChatGPT is all like, “you go girl, you are wonderful, dump him and seize the day” kind of stuff. I often feel human beings and human emotions need to be dealt with more empathy and patience. So, avoiding my favourite AI’s advice, I try my best to forgive, understand, and stay.

Because human connections—at least for me—are worth the mess.

Something within me is designed to hate ambiguity, which more often than not makes me run behind clarity. Any situation that presents itself to be even slightly ambiguous messes with my brain and how I operate as a person. Am I getting the job or not? Are we going for the movie tonight or not? Does he love me for real? Or not? My system cannot rest until I know.

How does one reach the state of knowing then?

The older I’ve grown, the more I’ve realised that the whole of our lives revolve around ambiguity. The truth is that we never know and as a matter of fact, we will never know. Anything, about anything. Until it happens, if it happens. Me, who is sitting and typing this could get a heart attack and crash on my office desk right now. That would be slightly embarrassing though. Imagine my manager coming to lift my body from my desk and realising I was not working but instead writing about my issues with ambiguity.

In my quest to fight with my own fear of ambiguity, I typed on to ChatGPT – how do I deal with ambiguity? ChatGPT went on to suggest grounding techniques, mindset shifting, and focusing on what I can control. “Bleh, cliché!!” I wanted to write back at ChatGPT, which I consciously refrained from doing due to my fear of the inevitable AI rebellion. Smarter to be on the safer side, isn’t it?

Anyways I still don’t know how to deal with ambiguity. Except that when I’m at my lowest, I write. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I’m doing something original. Makes me feel like I’m in control. And for the brief few minutes that I’m writing, the ambiguity that is eating my brain away can wait.